Revelations

I made a revelation a few days ago while talking to Dave. In college, weekends are not "week-ends" as much as they are "week-extensions". The work never really ends, certainly not for two whole days. At least for me, weekends in high school meant sleeping in, laying around, watching football, hanging out, having fun. In college, weekends are hard-earned chunks of quiet, precious moments of uninterrupted work time. The work load is growing, my friends. In 2D Design alone I have three rather daunting assignments due in less than a week. I'm not worried though. It's nothing I can't handle.

I've also realized that, in general, I am far more introverted in college as compared to high school. I'm sure this has something to do with my completely new surroundings, group of friends and work load, but over all, I would much rather be alone, in my dorm, drawing and listening to some Pirates or Potter than out gallivanting around campus or the city. I like the quiet, it lets me focus and be productive; some of the happiest times of the week are the ones when I am alone with my music and a pencil.

In keeping the this week's theme, I would like to stress that things are going great here at school. Plans are underway for the annual CCAD Boo Ball (we're going as Death Eaters), I really like the people in my classes, I've made an admirable set of friends who are so remarkably like me we can't help but get along and I've stopped dreading the alarm each morning. That being said, I miss my friends: the original group, the one-and-only. I think about them every day and miss them more than anything else. The lapses of time that pass without hearing anything from them are starting to hurt but I realize that, like me, they are busy. They have more important things to do.

And so, I venture ever onward, sailing swiftly into the Unknown, all the while keeping a weathered eye on the horizon, searching for signs from the past.

Three Weeks and Counting

After three weeks, I have started to dig myself into a niche here in college. I know the difference between what I "need" for class and what I need for class. I know exactly when I need to leave my bed each morning to make it to class on time. I know that the shower takes seven seconds to transition from cold to hot. I know what classes demand the better part of my attention and what classes don't. I know to have my CCAD-ID out and ready so as not to piss off the lunch lady when going through the line in the café. I know that the raspberry Creamice smoothies are the greatest beverages on Earth (and at four dollars a pop, they damn-well better be). I know how to unlock the door of my room with one hand (which comes in very handy when carrying a large drawing board, 18 x 24 inch sketch pad, box of drawing pencils, and a backpack of notebooks). I know not to take critiques personally; they exist only to make me better, although they still suck. I know that Armbrust means "crossbow" in Ancient Germanic and I know that without my daily retreat into the safe haven of my iPod, my routine swim through a sea of good memories, I would not have made it this far.

My birthday was a good one. Thanks to everyone for the onslaught of wall well-wishes and if I didn't thank you personally, I apologize and hope this mention will suffice. My parents bought me a fantastic Casio camera which I make an attempt to use at least once every day (although today was an exception because the battery was charging). I am spending iTunes money like there's no tomorrow. I know, I know. I could pirate but I can't, out of respect for the composers, bring myself to steal the music I listen to. Speaking of composers, one week from today I will be listening to the music of John Williams, live, and conducted by the genius himself (again, thanks to my parents). I can't wait and will do my best to take clear, flash-less pictures. Don't hold your breath.

I had an unusual lull in homework today. It's worrisome: I feel like I've forgotten something but I can't think of what it could be. Oh well, here's hoping I'm wrong. I am, for the most part, completely exhausted and looking forward to Friday and a little extra sleep. Until then, I'll take what I can get.

I miss you all (and I mean that. Sure, it's turned into a kind of tag line [inspired fully by the awesome sign-off of Potter-Watch] but it is the truth. I can't stress that enough). Stay in touch (please). See you when I can.

Brown and Gold Forever

I am home again this weekend. I had convinced myself that I wasn't going to go to the game tonight, that I was going to let them have their space, let them make their own memories, but the thought of missing out on seeing everyone tore holes in my stomach, heart and soul, so I went. I've said it before, and I'm sure by now it's getting redundant: I love the atmosphere of a Friday night football game. I helped mom sell sweatshirts today and at one point we needed a role of masking tape to hang up the pricing signs so I set off to find some. Walking around, I was reminded profoundly of a Xanga post I made a little over a year ago:

It's a Friday night. The sun is setting slowly in the west. You step out of the school and stare at the football stadium. On the press box is a large new sign with the words " Buckeye Valley High School: Home of the Fighting Barons" spread across a huge brown and gold shield. Flying from the newly erected stadium lights are dozens of gold banners each fluttering gently in the late August air. On the chain-link fences hang signs of brown and gold, displaying spirited words of inspiration and pride. In the parking lot are hundreds of cars, each displaying a window flag or a bumper sticker with the brown and gold shield and the words, "BV's teams will forever fight for Victory". As you walk into the stadium itself you see hundreds, maybe thousands of people wearing brilliant gold shirts and brown and gold scarves and hats. A group of students waves a giant flag with the shield emblazoned across the center. Looking around in amazement, you realize that not only is the stadium clad in brown and gold but the entire area. The lampposts surrounding the stadium and the middle school proudly display banners that welcome the visitors to Baron Country. Children wave small flags and students twirl bright gold towels frantically above their heads. You are called to attention (because if you're reading this you are most likely in the Band) and at the command there is a resounding roar from the crowd as the cadence starts and you march proudly onto the field. You pass Mrs. Sturni who is cheering frantically and waving a gold towel like a old-fashioned handkerchief. You can't help but smile. You breath a deep breath of warm air, smelling the cooking hamburgers and hot dogs, savoring the memory. As you step onto the field, it hits you: you are a senior and this is your last, first football game. The roar of the crowd dies away as you begin to play the alma mater. The crowd is singing along. Pride radiates from you and everyone around you. You are home.

I was thrilled to see how close BV is coming to this ideal. There was more gold in the stands tonight than ever before, people had their faces painted, they clapped for the fight song. Our class gift was a series of pennant-flags for the top of the press box representing the schools in our district and to see them fluttering in the breeze made me feel a deep sense of accomplishment and happiness. I was pleased to see so many people wearing the sweatshirts I designed for the show-choir. I think people are finally beginning to understand that supporting your school by wearing the colors is not only acceptable, it's encouraged.

Wading through past Xanga posts is like taking a sudden trip back in time. For the most part, my posts were lame, emo, whining sessions and so reading them is depressing, yes, but oddly hilarious. Hindsight is 20-20, so they say, and looking back at all the trivial things I usually wrote about makes me sick. In my search for the above post I did come across one prophetic excerpt from the night of our last football game as seniors:

It gave me the warm-fuzzies when they applauded us on the bus ride home. Those juniors are something else. I sure am going to miss them.

Truer words were never written. I think about them every day.

I talked to Melissa today, which lifted my spirits considerably. She and I are about the same, emotionally speaking. We feel the same way about a lot of things and it is great to talk to someone who you know, without a doubt, understands the way you are feeling. I miss her too.

After the game, we went to Pizza Hut for some "just-like-old-times" chitchat. I love spending time with some of the people I was just getting to know, namely Emily, Anita and Mick. They are great kids and I love their enthusiasm and senses of humor. I brought up the fact that I can't wait for Pep Band season because I will be able to make it to quite a few games during my month-long Christmas break. I love that atmosphere too.

Well, this post is much longer than I wanted it to be, and it lacks a clear theme; but who cares? Not me.

Miss you all. Stay in touch. See you sometime.

Scarlet and Gray

Saturday was the Ohio State game versus Akron. Dad and I left early this morning to meet Dave and his friends, and get seats for the Skull Session. Unfortunately, they weren't able to get in to see the rehearsal; they close the gates once the show starts. The band sounded great, as usual. There's something breathtaking about seeing such a legendary group live, and in person. As far as games go, this one was okay. The Buckeye's didn't get their shit in gear until after halftime but luckily the weather improved just as much as the team after the break. It was nice to see David, and to meet his new Akron friends. More than anything else, I wish CCAD had some kind of music program. I have found a few people who were in the bands at their respective high school s but for the most part, they are few and far between.

Speaking of band, Sunday was the All-Horse Parade through Delaware. I met Carie and her friend Lauren on the lawn of the Court House building and we watched with great pride as our band marched by. After the initial passing, Carie and I stalked the band all the way back to the fairgrounds where they stopped to enjoy their annual Post-Parade Picnic. Seeing everyone was great. I can't figure out why, but being away from those people, (Casey, Anna, Davy, Emily, Zandra, Mark and Lee in particular) for a few days is like a month for me. I miss them all a lot but swell up with pride when I see how well they are leading the band.

I came back to CCAD Sunday night to piles and piles of homework. It's getting crazy now but through all the madness I'll keep you updated here. Tomorrows the big 1-8! I'm pretty excited! I'm looking forward to winning the lottery with the LOST numbers, and turning down my first legal cigarette!

Anyway, things are good here. I still miss you. Keep in touch. See you later.

Stretch, Yawn; Repeat As Needed.

This is morning was one of those curse-the-alarm-clock, stub-your-toe, shampoo-in-the eyes kind of mornings. I didn't make it to bed until 1:00 last night so the 6:00 alarm seemed t0 c0me out of nowhere in the middle of the night. I did manage however, to finish my four sketchbook pages which are due today. Thursdays suck for me: 2D Design, Drawing and Art History. I bought my mammoth, eight-pound Art History book yesterday for an account-killing one-hundred twenty-two dollars. I honestly think that if you can return the book at the end of the year, in good condition, they should give at least some of that money back.

I can feel the workload growing already, and they keep telling us that our current assignments are the easiest we'll ever see. This is going to be rough. I miss jazz band; I had "On Green Dolphin Street" stuck in my head for the majority of Digital Design yesterday. I miss the music, the relaxing, anything-goes atmosphere but most of all, I miss the people.

Thanks to Emily for my fantastic Chipotle gift card, complete with "Shoes" parody.
Good Luck to Heidi in her final Cross Country meet.
Good luck to Anna, Casey, Davy, Emily, Heidi, Lee and everyone else for Friday night. You guys have one hell of a show put together and I am really proud.

To everyone else, miss you all. Stay in touch. See you later.

Music Makes You Lose Control.

Actually, no. Music helps me stay in control. It keeps me focused and I could happily sit through three hours of Painting Fundamentals just so long as I had good music playing absentmindedly in the background. Today was a Hans Zimmer day. Last night I downloaded the soundtracks to Gladiator and The Da Vinci Code and have been listening to them on and off all day today.
While not as good a Pirates of the Caribbean, they come pretty damn close. Gladiator is a lot like Pirates in that its main themes are brash and bold; you can hear the battle raging on as you listen. Interestingly enough, at one point in Gladiator's track three, "The Battle," a theme almost identical to "Jack Sparrow's Theme" staggers in and out of the action. When I heard it today during Drawing, I let out an audible "Ha!" and several people glanced up at me, no doubt wondering what the hell was so funny. Funny or not, those kind of musical moments make listening exciting to me. Zimmer is a master of weaving themes together in great, grand, sweeping suites ("At Wit's End" on the At World's End soundtrack is a prime example) although I must admit, hearing such blatant personal plagiarism came as quite a shock, hence the mid-still-life "Ha!"
The Da Vinci Code score is much more subdued, more ethereal and haunting just like it's ink-and-paper counterpart. Zimmer's use of choir and the female voice is amazing and suites the story perfectly. It is almost as though angels are singing from heaven, addressing the horror, the mystery, the action themselves. The prominent theme (found in its full glory in track twelve, "Chevaliers de Sangreal") is broad and sweeping using the strings to their fullest potential. It is inspiring, as I'm sure it was intended to be.
I didn't intend for this to turn into a review but these things tend to write themselves, you know. All I can say is without music, my life would be silent; and what good is a silent life?

The soundtracks to Gladiator and The Da Vinci Code are both available from the iTunes Store.

Hope you enjoyed this little diversion for the the norm, I know I did.
Miss you all. Stay in touch. See you later.

Reckless Reminiscing

According to the calendar, I have been in school now for over a week. In that period of seven days, a lot has happened and a lot hasn't. I have made quite a few friends and I will be glad to have them by my side in the next weeks and months. I have started to dig out my place in the world, filling my space with as many memories of home as will fit. My classes are great. It is a good feeling to be doing what you love each night for homework: no equations, no critical analysis. I am happy school. Each day is brighter than the next and the future glints vaguely ahead. I don't know where I am going, I just know I'm on my way.

I went home this weekend. Friday night was Buckeye Valley's first home game. I'm not sure what it is but something about the atmosphere of a football game brings me home to place where I could stay forever. Surrounded by familiar faces, smiles, laughter, I am at peace with myself, with the world. Sounds nice, huh?

That's probably a little over-dramatic, but I do love it. I was never one of those people who hated high school. Quite the opposite, really. I loved high school. I liked the intense sense of community, of knowing everyone you passed in the hallway. I loved knowing all the teachers, what they liked, what they didn't. I liked pep rallies. That's right, I said it. I liked what they stood for, a unquestioned sense of pride, of shared excitement and spirit; it's too bad only three other people shared that sentiment. I liked being able to make a difference, to share an idea and see it come to fruition a few weeks later. I liked having a purpose, not to say I don't have purpose now, I'm just not sure what it is at this point.

Before long, the tide will begin to turn. I will work my way into this new and different community. I will get to know my teachers, what they like, what they don't. There are no sports at CCAD and therefore no pep rallies but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be school spirit. Maybe that could become my purpose here. Maybe I could work, like I did at BV, to bolster student pride, share my ideas and see them come to fruition. Maybe, someday.

Until then, I make my way to class each day, head down, homework done. I make my way back, check my phone, my Facebook, IM and email in hopes that someone has left some kind of message. Be the one to brighten my day, leave me something. Thanks.

Miss you all. Stay in touch. See you later.

Whirlwind

With September comes autumn, my favorite season. I love the fall for lots of reasons: the deep yellow-orange of the trees; the hint of red or yellow-green every once-in-a-while; the chilly briskness of the air; the distant smell of burning wood that seems to drift out of nowhere, the steely gray of the morning sky; the warmness of a jacket; the pumpkins; the taste of apple cider; the rustle of the leaves; the richer, heartier foods; the anticipation of winter and the Holidays.

School is getting good. Classes have started, the monotony is gone, the craziness is about to begin. I'm glad, I deal well with craziness.