Bridges

It sounds so cliché, "I am about to begin a new chapter of my life, to do new things, go new places and make new friends," but it's true. But to be perfectly honest, I like the chapter I'm in right now just fine, thank you. I am ready to start school, to do what I love, to learn and grow. I am even looking somewhat forward to living on-campus, close to my school and its resources. I am excited for the classes, to see how different they are and to find a routine again. I'm not nervous about school anymore. I will be fine, I'm sure.

That being said, I can't help but ask myself, is it selfish that the thing I want more than anything is for time to stop? Is it wrong that so many of my best friends are still in high school? Is it wrong for me to still be around? I don't mean to intrude or seem pathetic but it feels like I am. I used to hate it when graduates would hang around with us; they were lame. Why am I any different? I almost wish someone would call me out, tell me to get lost, to go home, so I could at least know that I'm not wanted, so I can begin to move on. I like to think I'm wanted, and people say that I am, but if it's true, why do I feel so guilty?

I guess, like everyone, I am going to have to let go. But letting go means being swept off into the abyss, far from the people and places I know and love. What's worse is that I will not far from home, less than 45 minutes away: close enough to see everyone once-in-a-while, but too far to keep some bridges from crumbling. And it's the bridges I'm worried most about crumbling (ironically, some of the newest ones) that I want most to maintain.

Come September we will all be busy, fitting in to weird, new places or enjoying our time in old, familiar ones but I am asking, as a friend who will be checking his inbox by the hour, please write. Even if it's just a few sentences, that contact will keep me sane and will keep even the most strained bridges from breaking.